Paris Hilton Escapes to Maui

Erma just heard on the radio that Paris Hilton is flying to Maui to recover from her “mind changing” experience in jail. How many other jailbirds can recover from spending their time in jail by taking a vacation on your family’s resort in beautiful, and expensive, Hawaii?

So much rehabilitation can occur while spending hours in the hotel spa, relaxing by the pools, and sunning on the private beaches. Throw in a little shopping, and gourmet dinners and voila, we have the return to sanity of a spoiled brat. Perhaps she can even work in her 40 hours of community service by making a promo ad extolling the benefits of a vacation, “in beautiful Maui.” What an ad campaign it could be: Maui, the Place to Recover and Get In Touch With Your Inner Self. There would be Paris, telling the world how she recovered from her dreadful ordeal by relaxing on Hawaii’s beaches. Of course, I’m not sure that it would exactly promote the tourist industry for the Islands. An ad campaign like that could backfire.

Better yet. Paris could make an ad for the Maui Onion Producers. Skimpily clad Paris is lying on the beach, munching on a big Maui Onion, and telling the world that one of the things that helped get her through those trying days in jail was the thought that once out she could indulge in her favorite vegetable snack, the fabled Maui Onion. Maui Onions are too wonderful in their own right to be hurt by an ad campaign like that.

I remember when we were in Hawaii, eating them just like an apple. Now true, I love onions in any shape, size, or form, but the Maui is the best for sweetness. The Pickled Maui Onion recipe below was given to me by a Hawaii native who served it as an appetizer. I have made it many times since with all kinds of onions and it is delicious.

Pickled Maui Onions:

1 quart of white vinegar
1 quart of water
1/3 cup rock salt, or canning salt
1/2 cup of sugar
3 large carrots
1 large green pepper
1 large red, sweet pepper
4 pounds Maui onions

With your Santoku Knife slice the carrots into thin slices. Slice both of the peppers into thin pieces. Slice the onions into thick rings and separate. Place all vegetables into a covered bowl, like the Pyrex Storage Bowls, cover with cold water and a tray of ice cubes. Refrigerate for several hours to crisp the vegetables.

In an enamel pot, like the KitchenAid Hard-Base Sauce Pan, bring the vinegar, water, salt and sugar to a full boil. Drain the vegetables in a colander. Fill large, quart or larger, canning jars or French canning jars with the vegetables and pour the boiling vinegar over them. Once the vegetables return to room temperature, seal the jars and store them in the refrigerator for a month before using.

Any kind of onion can be used, though the Maui and Vidalia’s make the sweetest pickle. For a yellow effect, add a 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric when boiling the vinegar.

Makes one gallon of pickle