Cookies for the Care Package

Well, Erma, I see that you are still trying to extend Paris’ jail stay by teaching her to include alcohol in all your suggested recipes. I remember the No-Knead-To-Rise Beer Bread recipe very well. We thought it was so chic and daring. Who would ever have thought that you could make bread so easily? And without yeast and kneading? And with beer which our mothers told us proper young ladies did not drink?.

Now, if I were going to send Paris a Care Package, I would include some nice cookies for her to snack on. Can’t you see the Parents Hilton arriving at the jail with a cardboard box, or as is more likely in their case, with a fancy napkin lined basket, filled with cookies and snacks? Each cookie individually wrapped in colored plastic wrap and tied with a little bow? There would be a few fancy fruits and several bottles of expensive, imported water (you know that Paris could not possibly drink the water right out of the tap), and some tins from Harrods in London.

Speaking of which, did you hear that the Hiltons do not have to wait in line with the rest of the families of prisoners? They go straight to the front of the line and into the jail. And they say that money does not talk? Do these people (both Hiltons and jailers) have a clue about the resentment the public feels at this sort of preferential treatment? It isn’t just what they are doing, it is the surprise that there are people out there who object to their actions. Do they live in such a sheltered world that they have no idea of what real people do and think?

Perhaps a part of the problem is that Paris had a stage mother who pushed her daughter into a movie career. I heard last night that the girl did not even graduate high school! Now it is sad that with all the Hilton money, they could not even buy her a diploma from some private school. The Parents Hilton should have watched the movie, “Making The Grade.” In it a wealthy boy has to graduate high school or lose his trust fund so he hires someone to pretend to be himself and finish his lst year of school. It is really funny, and funny we need today.

I am going to play amateur shrink. Paris Hilton’s problem is that she did not have a normal childhood. I will bet that not once in her school years did she come home to find Mother Hilton in the kitchen pulling out a sheet of homemade cookies.

I can’t begin to count the times that I came home to find hot Childhood Butterscotch Refrigerator Cookies sitting on the kitchen table. The most awful school day became bearable with one of these. The funny part is that it was years before I discovered that my mother was not taking an hour or so every day to bake these cookies just for me. She always kept a dozen or so rolls of the cookie dough stored away in the freezer so all she had to do was grab a roll, slice it into thin cookies while the oven heated, and in a matter of minutes there would be fresh cookies.

If fifteen years ago Mother Hilton had made Paris some of these cookies, she might not be visiting her daughter in jail today.

Childhood Butterscotch Refrigerator Cookies:

3 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup solid shortening
1/2 cup butter
2 cups brown sugar
2 eggs, room temperature and well beaten
2 tablespoons warm water
1 teaspoon vanilla

In a small bowl, mix the flour, salt, cinnamon and soda. Cream the shortening and butter with a retro green mixer. After all this is the 1950’s and we want to preserve the ambiance. Gradually add the sugar and beat until light. Add the eggs, water and vanilla and mix well.

Heaping tablespoon at a time, add the flour mixture until blended well.

Lay out sheets of waxed paper and with your hands and a spatula, shape the dough into 2 inch diameter rolls. Wrap the rolls tightly in the waxed paper and chill at least overnight. When ready to bake, cut the rolls into 1/8 inch slices that are placed at least 1 1/2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. The deluxe cookie sheet with its superior baking design produces a uniformly baked cookie. Because of their excellent design, you may find that the cooking time is reduced slightly. Bake at 400 degrees 10 to 12 minutes. Watch carefully.

Let the cookies sit for a minute or two on the sheet before removing to a cooling rack. This makes about 6 dozen cookies. Store in a tight container or cookie jar.

This is a really versatile recipe. You can add a cup of nuts, or chocolate chips, or coconut to change the texture and taste. The dough holds well for at least a week in the fridge so you can make it up at your leisure, and bake a batch in minutes. You can also freeze the dough for several months. Store the rolls of dough in a large zip lock freezer bag to avoid freezer burn. Simply give the dough enough time to soften enough to cut with a serrated knife. It doesn’t have totally thaw. A microwave comes in handy here.

The smell is “Mother Loves You and Is Baking You Fresh Cookies Today.” This brings back memories of Mom in the kitchen wearing her apron taking out a tray of fresh baked cookies just as you came in the door from school. Talk about nostalgia.