We’ve been on a web search here to find the worst Jailhouse recipes, and I think we have succeeded. Lasagna is nice and fattening, and this recipe is guaranteed to turn off even the most devoted Italian food lover. This is what my friends think should be served to Paris Hilton–not the gourmet meals we are sure are going to be sent in just for the delicate darling.
At Frackville prison in East Central Pennsylvania they serve a dish called “lasagna.” I’ve been lucky enough to discover what appears to be the recipe. The boss who runs the prison kitchen said he’s tasted it. He “found it fine.” Yes, he said, “fine!”
First off, forget lasagna noodles. Forget baking. Ignore the ricotta. Here’s the Frackville recipe.
· Boil up a few hundred pounds of rigatoni pasta, yes, rigatoni. Boil it until it’s good and soggy. A lot of salt helps.
· Dump in a few bottles of ketchup. The cheap stuff is best. Stir it up. A stick will do just fine.
· Throw in a few pounds of ground up turkey meat. Try to avoid as much of the green stuff as you can. That turkey-ham may work.
· If you can find any, add some cheese. Put in anything you happen to see lying around, Cheddar, Swiss, American, it doesn’t matter much. Just be careful not to use too much and scrape off any mold you notice.
· Cook the whole stew in a large kettle with a few hundred gallons of water.
The kitchen boss claims that “many inmates state it was very good; to make sure we do it the same next time.”
Just imagine what the rest of the food is like!
I have reproduced the recipe just as it is found on the web because the writer’s comments so mirror my own. Wouldn’t you love to see Paris’s expression if she encountered such a meal?
Even after three, or four of your Mandarin Orange Beach Cocktails, I’m not sure even I could stomach that Lasagna.
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